Remember when we were little and we’d go up to our parents complaining of a painful leg, or arm? They’d look carefully at the offending limb, and if they could find no obvious reason for the aches, they’d cheer us up with the words: “Don’t worry, it’ll go away, it’s just growing pains.” And we’d go back to our games almost proud of the fact that we were growing! And being “grown up” was all that we wanted. Growing up was our goal, because after we grew up we could do everything that we wanted, right?

Everything that we wanted. That means, of course, eating all the candy we craved, sleeping until all hours, never taking a bath, no more school, no more washing dishes, cleaning after ourselves etc. etc. Then we move out on our own, and reality strikes. We soon realize that our parents knew what they were talking about and we wished that we had paid more attention when they were trying to teach us how to do things correctly. Many young adults, struggling to balance their first checkbook or pay their bills, quickly realize that most of their paychecks go to boring things like: rent, phone, utilities, and insurance, leaving very little for the fun stuff, like movies, CDs, clothes, trips and eating out. So they charge the credit card to the max: have fun now and pay… whenever. We’ve all heard the stories, and maybe we’ve experienced it ourselves. More growing pains.

And then there are the mental and spiritual growing pains. Remember when, in the middle of the most satisfying tantrum, our mother told us: “Grow up!” What do you mean grow up? I was enjoying yelling and stomping my feet! I don’t want to listen to reason! I don’t want to make a decision based on rational thought!

Unfortunately, I’ve met many adults who simply refuse to grow up. Once I was talking with a married man who was seeing another woman, and I asked: “Are you having sex with this person?” His quick answer was: “What do you think? We are both adults!” I thought: “Really? Do you have any control over your actions?” After hearing the “I’m an adult” excuse for doing the most irresponsible things, I came to the conclusion that most people think that being an adult means being able to do anything and everything they want. How did we ever come to this? Who forgot to tell us that being an adult means to be able to control our impulses, to channel our desires and to act responsibly toward ourselves and others?

Was it parents who tried to be their children’s best friends, or who were too tired after a hard day’s work to discipline them? Was it priests who wanted to be popular and spoke only what, as the Gospel says, “tickled our ears”? Was it our media, who wanted to sell papers, advertising and movies? Or maybe it was a combination of all these. The fact remains that when we look around today we see the sad results of irresponsible adulthood: unwanted pregnancies, drug addictions, financial bankruptcies, widespread depression and even suicides.

Why do I bring this up? Because the other day I asked all R.C.I.A. participants: “What is the most important thing that you discovered/learned during these last months?” One person said: “I did not know that there was a moral law. When I was young I was told that I had to respect myself. I never knew that my body was sacred because it’s the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Now I’m going to teach that to my children.” Another said: “I thought that adults could do everything they wanted. I did not know that there were responsibilities.” The joy that they experience in their spiritual growth is very evident, as is their decision to continue on the path on which they began to walk last September. Every year, those who come faithfully, tell us how glad they are that they decided to enroll in the adult catechetical program, taking personal responsibility for their actions, their lives, their relationship with God. In other words, they are experiencing the joys of becoming “grown ups.”

The R.C.I.A. participants come because they choose to listen to God’s voice calling them home, make no mistake about that. As the year progresses, we make it very plain that following God’s narrow road is not easy; it requires commitment, endurance and sacrifices. In other words, deciding to become an adult Christian means accepting growing pains. When the effort seems too much and we feel like throwing in the towel, we should tell ourselves what our parents told us so long ago: “it’s only growing pains” and realize that we are closer to our goal.

On the other hand, we can choose not to accept our vocation as adult Christians and continue down the road of spiritual immaturity. Unfortunately, while this seems the easier road, that this is the more painful of the two. Avoiding spiritual growing pains is more costly, more agonizing and self-destructive in the long run, because we choose to act against our very nature, against the purpose for which God has made us, which is: to know Him, serve Him and to adore Him. Only real adults can do that.