Ok ladies. There has been a lot of discussion (and confusion) about marriage and the role of women, especially in the last few years. Most of it seems directed to diminishing the importance of the traditional family as the first building block of a solid, stable, peaceful society. If you are older than 30, you will probably remember the slogan of the day: “Marriage is just a piece of paper?” So more and more couples decided to skip that “piece of paper.”

Then the feminist movement made women feel incomplete, unfulfilled if they were “just wives,” “just mothers.” Every woman worthy of the name was supposed to have “a career.”

TV shows reinforced that message. Remember the commercial: “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan and never let you forget that I am a woman” commercial? How about those sit-com characters of successful, witty, popular “career women,” who could do it all and have it all? A fun, well-paid job; one thrilling affair after the other; bear a child; raise a sensational young person; party at night, and be happy, fulfilled, exciting, elegant, wise… Wonder Woman, move over!

Now, suddenly, that “piece of paper” that meant nothing thirty-something years ago looks all important to a new constituency: the gay lobby.

Ladies, can we talk? How many of you are “single-mom Wonder Women?” Exciting? Partying at night? Perfect children? (and always looking gorgeous, of course). Give me a break! Being mom and dad at the same time is no fun. Worrying about what your latch-key children are doing when you are at work is stressful. How many fun chores can you count? And let’s not talk about the doubling-up of responsibilities that are the prerogative of the one parent family! The glamorous heroines of the TV sit-coms didn’t go into the practical details, did they?

Don’t you wish we could turn back and return to the old-fashioned family? You know, the one where mom could be at home with the kids. I remember growing up that mom was always home when we were. When we were little, she’d take us to school and come and pick us up on the trolley. On very special occasions we’d walk a few blocks to this fabulous pastry shop where she’d buy us a “maritozzo con panna,” which was a sweet roll, split down the middle and filled with whipped cream.

When we were older and could take the bus, she’s be waiting for us at home, with a hot meal. Then mom would sit with us at the table as we did our homework, helping the slower ones and keeping us on task.

Mother made sure our clothes were neat, appropriate and clean. There were four of us, with a total age difference of only 5 and 1/2 years; still she managed to get us all at our Catholic school on time, sparkling in our white “coverall” uniforms. I remember that once, the Mother Superior brushed aside the excuses of a regularly-tardy mother of two with the words: “Signora Vigano’ (my mother) has four, and she’s never late!”

Often dad would work too late to have dinner with all of us, so she waited for him, and they sat at the dinner table, talking after we were all asleep. I remember one time, when she had prepared a big, frosted cake with lots of our favorite maraschino cherries on top for someone’s birthday. There was plenty left that evening for dad, and again for dinner the next day. Except… when the cake appeared on the table, all the cherries were gone! We kids let out a howl of disappointment. Our indignant mother asked which one of us had perpetrated the crime… while dad’s eyes were crinkling, then tearing; soon he could not contain his laughter any longer. When he could finally speak, he asked mom: “You were sitting right in front of me last night, when we were talking, and I was putting one cherry after the other in my mouth. Didn’t you notice?” We didn’t think it was that funny!

No, I would not trade our family life for anything. Our parents were raised in a Catholic family, and followed the example of their own parents. Thanks to that vision, our existence was peaceful, orderly, quiet; you may even say “boring” by today’s standards. Thanks to my mother’s gift of self, we had a happy home. I know that she would not have traded places with the most glamorous, successful, popular career woman on the planet. She was the darling of our father’s heart and the happiness of her children.

As I read articles written by “successful” women who claim marriage is an archaic institution, with no place in our modern world, my heart goes out to all our children and the children that they will bear. It is up to us, and especially to the younger women among us, to reclaim the privileged place that God intended for us since the beginning of the world. If we do, we will be, once again, the heart of the family, the teacher of our children, and the treasure of society. Holy Mary, Mother of God, You who raised God’s Son, help us to imitate You.